SWE Uprising & the Trident of Doom Review
29th March 2014
Fun opening package started (I sat on the side with the screen so had the fun task of turning round to actually watch it.) the Indiana Jones music was great then it was interrupted by The Tridents music setting up SWE Uprising & The Trident of Doom. The next video package was the announcement of the first guest at Hell for Lycra XI on August 30th. A WWE Hall of Famer, a TV & Movie star and a Hardcore Legend. Terry Funk is coming to Dundee in August. Big cheer from the crowd. I’m looking forward to this. I have a copy of Roadhouse that I want signed.
LJT def. “The Butcher” Scott Renwick
Good little match, Renwick is a great bad guy. The crowd where more against Renwick than they were pro LJT. Renwick got cocky and broke up his own pin at two which lead to his downfall. LJT rolled up The Butcher out of nowhere. Good start to the show.
Renwick posted on Facebook after this that soon he wasn’t going to be alone. With him in his Britain’s Most Wanted gear and Damo also competing in all black lately I’m initially thinking a BMW union in SWE which would be great. We’ll just have to see how it plays out.
Bryan “The Grue” Douglas entered to interview The Trident in the ring. He asked questions and none of them where answering. They started cornering Douglas before Magners made the save, cleared the ring. He faced the wee member of the Trident. (For future note: As their ring names have not been revealed they are called Wee, Skinny and Grande for the sake of writing reviews.)
Wee Trident def. Steven Magners
Very quick match, Magners in control till music hit which distracted Magners long enough for Wee Trident to floor him with a Sky High. Not much to write about, it served its purpose to set up the next segment.
Chaz Phoenix attacks Steven Magners after the match by covering his head with a plastic bag and locking in a sleeper. I saw some uproar on Facebook after this due to the dangerous act and kids could copy such a thing (they do play fight at intervals). Personally, it sold the rivalry as personal but I can see the point made that it was too dangerous for a family friendly show.
Kirsty Love def. Debbie Sharpe by Count-Out
Another enjoyable showing by Debbie, my only gripe was that during her set up promo she was talking about her thinking she was a loser and it was a very serious promo but when her music hit she came out all bubbly and bouncing about. Like the opposite of what the promo was suggesting. Couple awkward spots but overall both Love and Sharpe worked well together. Would enjoy seeing them go at it again.
Claymore & Scotty Riccio def. Jackie Polo & Christopher Saynt
Polo and Saynt entering the Ardler was a thing of beauty that my words won’t do justice to. It was camp, hilarious and heat inducing, ending with the worlds longest tease of a kiss. Shame the match wasn’t the same. It was too long in my opinion. I enjoyed the action and it was good but there was a long middle portion before the finish sequence begun. Another point about promo videos, Claymore claimed that he was bringing the violence in a serious promo but I never got that in the ring. I think if the crowd kept up their enthusiasm it would’ve been a difference maker but after the Pheonix-Magners moment the crowd seemed to go a bit quiet. (Except the annoying three children sat next to me who kept shouting “sl*g” and “f*ck the police” during the Sirens match. Thankfully they left soon after. If I did that when I was their age I’d have my Mothers foot so far up my arse, my teeth would be replaced by her toes.)
Chaz Phoenix def. Jam O’Malley by DQ
Another match that wasn’t a match. Not long after the opening bell Steven Magners returned and jumped Phoenix. Security earned their wages tonight as they were back to separate the two. This rivalry is far from over.
Chris Duke interrupted Callum McMinn and cut a good promo mocking McMinn before announcing Glen Dunbar to the ring. Duke was on the screen and was cutting this promo from his car. A lot has been said about Chris Duke, mostly negative, but the guy can generate heat in an igloo.
Kevin Williams def. Glen Dunbar
Here we go. This was a very fun match. I wasn’t a fan of Glen Dunbar before this match but I was afterwards. Comedy spots kept the crowd up and in the action. The finish was amazing, not just due to what happened but ring announcer Callum McMinn selling it with everything he had. Williams grabbed his box at ringside and pulled out a Ba-bomb toy out and wound it up. McMinn deserved an Oscar for his panic. He was running around franticly, him and Randy Valentine jumped onto the apron to stop Williams from throwing it. A game of pass the parcel begun between McMinn, Williams and referee Ryan Hamilton before Dunbar ended up with the Ba-bomb. The ring cleared and Dunbar covered his ears awaiting the explosion. Williams then rolled him up for a pin and win. This, my friends, is how you get a crowd of kids into a match. Awesome.
Post match McMinn announced the loser to be Glen Dunbar. Dunbar wasn’t happy and cornered McMinn. Callum then skelped Dunbar, legitimately busted Dunbar’s ear.
Bravehart came out to the worst entrance music for a family friendly show (Evil Scotsman by Billy Connelly) and shouted at both Dunbar and McMinn. He then told McMinn that at their next event Chris Duke will be the ring announcer for the event and then McMinn will be back at the show afterwards. Both get their chance to prove who should be the ring announcer for SWE.
SWE Heavyweight Championship
#Scumbag Ian Ambrose def. Joe Hendry by DQ to retain
Another good match. I missed some of it much to my disappointment but from what I did see I enjoyed. I’m a fan of both of these guys. I think Ambrose misses a little something when Sammii isn’t ringside causing a distraction but he did well to set up the finish. While the referee was distracted Ambrose grabbed the belt, tossed it to Hendry and played dead in classic Eddie Guerrero fashion. Ambrose escaped again with the title. Hendry is getting better and better every month. I’m enjoying Ambrose’s title reign so far.
The Grue was back to interview Bravehart. Evil Scotsman plays again (sigh, this would work in an environment where there are no children in the audience but having an entrance song that hasn’t even covered the swearing on a family friendly show boggles my mind) and Bravehart brought out The Trident with him. He was here about the Personal Assistant position that he put on Facebook and intimidated Grue to announce the names involved. Stevie Simmons was a firm favourite in the Ardler Complex. Bravehart ran down each and every one of the applicants (I got a pretty rough berating about my appearance, which I thought was tidy.) before telling each that they have a chance to prove why they should be his assistant. Esther Robbins & Tam Malone get half a show each in Kirkton, April 18th. Amy Anderson gets the whole show on the 25th in Menzieshill (due to an applicant pulling out late…there’s a joke there…) and Stevie Simmons & Billy Strachan (myself) get a half of SWE Uprising Back to the Future Division on the 26th. This was clever as Bravehart wouldn’t allow any of us in the ring and was talking from the ring hence being above us and talking down to us at all times. There isn’t any way I can be unbiased about this segment as I was stood there trying not to mark out and becoming a gibbering fan boy.
Damian O’Connor def. Martyn Stallyon & The Jackal Jay Costello to become #1 Contender to the SWE Heavyweight Championship
The star of this match was The Jackal. He is so unlikable and has such a sh*t eating grin when he’s on top it elicits such hatred from the crowd. Starting off with Damo and Stallyon facing off while The Jackal is an arrogant assh*le outside the ring, they put together a nice sequence of moves. A fun chase to catch Costello ensued with Stallyon and Damo battering lumps out of him. As much as I enjoyed it there seemed to be something off. I thought Damo was just a half step out of time for the match, I can’t describe why but just the general feeling I got from watching. Costello has enough and gets a chair. Randy Valentine leaves the announce desk and grabs the chair, distracting Costello long enough for Damo to recover and hit the Bann River Boot for the win. It was a good match and it sent the crowd home happy but I personally would’ve preferred the title match to close the show and maybe have a stare down between Damo and Ambrose to end it but that’s just me being an armchair booker.
Overall I enjoyed SWE Uprising. I never go away disappointed. There were a couple minor things I’ve pointed out above but it didn’t spoil the overall show for me as the positives outweigh the negatives. The crowd was a mixed bag tonight, it wasn’t as loud as I usually hear it at the Ardler. I’m looking forward to my next trip down in April for Uprising.
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