A Few Words About 5 Star Wrestling – Newcastle

Week two of 5 Star Wrestling was in Newcastle last night, as BT Gunn was on the show it qualifies to be talked about right here on ONLY SCOTTISH WRESTLING… I make the rules here bub.

Last week I had gripes about things but were they fixed?

– Ring ropes tightened? YEP
– Mats taped down? YEP
– Different entrance music for each wrestler? YEP
– Updated entrance trons? YEP
– Ring apron lifted? YEP
– Barrier the right way round? YEP

Holy crap guys and gals we might just be onto a winner.

As I did last week, I missed the start of the show so there will be no “review” of Adam Maxted and Charlie Sterling defeating Jody Fleisch and El Ligero to become the first 5 Star Wrestling Tag Team Champions or any chat about Joey Axl beating Flash Morgan Webster…because I didn’t see it. I caught parts of Zack Gibson versus Rob Van Dam so will throw a little bit about that.

Zack Gibson once again threw more shade than a big umbrella at 5 Star Wrestling talking about how the papers concentrated on Rey Mysterio and that he had to talk about that but in reality everyone was talking about Zack Gibson. As all good heels do, talk truth but with an arrogant tone to make you boo them. He was facing Rob Van Dam, who looked more motivated than last week, maybe because he was facing someone who looked like they were taking their job seriously. We got some vintage Van Dam, that leg drop on the barrier bit and the like, just a bit slower as he’s getting up there in age. Gibson won, didn’t catch the finish so I’ll guess through shenanigans.

Skipped Joey Axl against Flash Morgan Webster but from what I’ve read it was a quick match with Axl using a Stretch Muffler for the submission victory.

Moose came out but was attacked by Rampage Brown, this went on for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages, couple of kicks them a piledriver then a couple of kicks then a piledriver. The referee wasn’t really on the ball here, taking forever and a day to call it a no contest. So tonight the focus is on Rampage Brown it seems…

Socal Val tried to get a word with Rampage as he stormed through the backstage area, as he opened his locker room door we could clearly see Zack Gibson and Adam Maxted chatting. The plot thickens…

If they’re setting up the pro-BritWres team of Gibson, Brown and Max Money I am all for it.

We got a tag team match next with The Masters of Cool, Chris Masters and Carlito against Big Grizzly and Dave Mastiff. A fun little match with four big dudes. It’s strange seeing Masters being manhandled as he was taking the majority of the beating. Grizzly was a bit rough and a tad sloppy in parts but it was fairly solid stuff. Masters used the apple to spit in the face of Big Grizzly, who didn’t want to be cool… especially with that haircut… which allowed Carlito to hit the Backstabber for the win.

The Tap Or Snap Championship was due to be on the line with Mark Haskins defending against Rey Mysterio, however, for reasons unknown it was changed to a non-title standard match. I can imagine the conversation was:

“Hey Rey, we’ve booked you in a submission match with Mark Haskins… do you know any submissions?”
“Eh no dawg, I don’t know any yo”
“Oh bugger”

End Scene.

The ring announcers explanation wasn’t much better as he just said that the rules had changed and it was now scheduled for one fall. No mention of it being a non-title match so the crowd were none the wiser.

The match itself was a lot of fun, Haskins and Mysterio had a very good chemistry and they still worked in some submissions per the original stipulation. The match ended with Rampage Brown coming out and attacking Mysterio and giving him a big ol piledriver before giving Haskins a cheeky boot.

We got backstage with Kid Fite, Lou King Sharp and Krieger in a callback to last week Sharp readied himself to throw his body at a door before he was stopped. Socal Val popped up as Krieger explained that they have a team name now, “Pure Dead Brilliant” and that they were ready to go. Val told them they weren’t booked tonight before Krieger calmly said…”shame on you”as he had told his Gran that he was going to be on the telly, Lou was less eloquent by just shouting “I HATE YOU” to Val. They all stormed off. Best part of the show just as they were last week.

At some point during all of this there was a shot outside of that Swedish guy Tor standing about with a gas mask all menacing, he was fitting in with the locals by being outside in February with no shirt on.

Nathan Cruz wandered out as Joe Hendry pointed out that BT Gunn exposed his backside on national tv last week during the Tap Or Snap Championship match. Cruz cut a whinging promo, singling out Joe Hendry which had me all a flutter as it would be a way to bring Hendry into the ring as opposed to being behind a table. Cruz faced BT Gunn in another good match, Gunn is just soooo talented and if 5 Star doesn’t work out at least he has got experience working on live tv and to a hard cam which WWE will like. After Gunn also exposed Cruz’s business (we were saved by Cruz wearing underwear) there was a weird cradle which looked like Cruz won but in fact Gunn was the victor. It happened very fast but the outcome was one I liked.

Before the main event we got a little bit between Eddie Ryan and Jake Hager.

Hang on…

There was an Eddie Ryan match on this show somewhere… forgive me for forgetting as he faced PJ Black, the most boring man in wrestling and I say that about a show that includes John Morrison. Out of all the names that have been flown in I can honestly say PJ Black put no butts in seats. Eddie Ryan won, yay.

Back to the thing between Ryan and Hager, Hager was good at being a right American. He told Ryan that American wrestling was better than British wrestling and he was off to win the British 5 Star Wrestling Championship. Oh that scumbag Hager.

Pure Dead Brilliant stoated out to the ramp before being tackled by secrity, as they fought to the back, it took six members of security to carry Lou King Sharp out kicking and screaming. Maybe next week in Sheffield lads.

The UK Hooligans were announced for next week as they’ll take on Max Money for the tag team titles. Lambert went on about them and The Rock, the film about Paige etc. haven’t seen enough of The UK Hooligans to get excited about that but considering I’ve missed both Max Money matches in this series I’ll probably end up missing that next week.

Right, actual main event time with John Boreison defending his 5 Star Wrestling Championship against Jake Hager. A standard match really, no real bells or whistles except Morrison just taking the utter p*ss constantly. Hokey pandering stuff which makes him look like a dork and his opponent a total wally. I’ve seen better kicks from a dog getting its belly rubbed and don’t get me started on his top rope nothing. Thankfully Zack Gibson saved the day as he attempted to smack Morrison with the title after a ref bump that was awkward and cringeworthy to watch. Morrison ducked and disposed of Gibson but it allowed Hager to crack Morrison’s knee with the belt and throw on the ankle lock for the submission victory. Hager and Gibson had a staredown to close the show.

I never thought I’d be happy with Hager holding a title but he looks like he’s motivated and really trying. Maybe he really does believe that American wrestling is better, I don’t care either way as he’s actually worth watching.

In stark contrast from last week the show was really good. If they either had a smaller venue or enough of a crowd to fill the hardcam side it would be hailed as a fantastic programme. There was a wild Bram popping up in the crowd during the Ryan-Black match, I’d have to be told when Bram popped up last week, if it was during a PJ Black or Eddie Ryan match there might actually be a story going on here. The subtle hint of Gibson and Brown along with Max Money keeps the intrigue. I’m hoping something comes out of Nathan Cruz and Joe Hendry. 5 Star have these imported names but the main focus of the last two shows have been British wrestlers.

There was outcry that there are no women on the show. Honestly, I’d rather 5 Star get a rhythm with the roster they have before they bring in a new division. Walk before they run y’know. The production has improved tremendously, Joe Hendry has excelled as a commentator, less hammy this week and more colour, striking a great balance. Overall a good watch.

What I’d like to see going forward would be an authority figure, someone to explain situations and steer the ship. The commentators can only do so much. I’d also like to see more babyfaces built up as it’s a villian heavy show.

I wanted to end this on a positive, however, I saw that Jack Jester had put up that the reason he wasn’t on the main show (he faced Timm Whylie on the pre-show, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone) was because he was “unpredictable”. Jack Jester, who wrestles on family friendly shows like PBW and BCW regularly without incident, “unpredictable”, what a load of bollocks. He’s actually the reason I was watching in the first place between him, BT Gunn and Pure Dead Brilliant. Cause Scottish wrestling 4 lyf etc. Maybe this is going to tie into the BritWres uprising of sorts or maybe it’s just poor handling, why book someone in the first place if they are considered “unpredictable”?

So that was many words about the latest episode of 5 Star Wrestling. What were your thoughts on the show and will you be watching next week?

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